I’ve always believed in God’s grace. Like every Christian, I professed that we are saved by God’s grace, and not by works.
But the Bible seemed very confusing. The Old Testament God (who seemed very angry) seemed extremely different than the New Testament God (who seemed very loving). So because of this confusion, my life seemed confusing. Whenever I did something good God seemed happy with me. Whenever I did something bad He seemed angry or disappointed with me. In other words, God related to me based on my obedience.
Like most church kids, I tried to pray everyday. I tried to avoid sin. I tried to do good. I tried to have “quiet times” with Jesus. And I tried my best to follow the commandments in the Bible.
The Christian life was hard—really hard. And even though the Gospel was supposed to set people free, I struggled a lot with condemnation.
And if I could be brutally honest, most of the “good” things I did growing up were many times driven by fear, guilt, or religious obligation.
Once I hit my senior year of high school, things started to get better. I became more serious about my faith. I stopped a lot of my bad habits, and I actually saw a genuine change in my life.
Once I entered the ministry, the pressure was on. No doubt, I enjoyed it at times. But concerning my character, I had to “step it up” a notch and be above reproach. It was something I was “supposed to do” as a leader.
Throughout my college years I became very religious. I did my best to serve God. I had a performance mentality—a life focused on behavior modification. I always had to do more and better. It was never enough. It became tiring.
But the more I failed, the more I tried to do better. I preached passionately against sin, and I was quick to point out other people’s hypocrisy. My goal was to be holy, righteous, and pleasing to God. And I wanted other Christians to do the same.
Once I started getting more into the whole healing and revival scene, there was even more pressure and self-effort to have and do. I had to get God to do things for me. For years I cried out to God for more power. I chased anointings. I fasted to receive breakthoughs. I said long prayers to get God’s attention. And I asked for forgiveness every time I screwed up to get “right with God” again. I had to earn God’s blessings.
Then one day I was introduced to the message of GOD’S RADICAL GRACE. My eyes were opened to the truth that I am now holy, righteous, and pleasing to God. It isn’t based on anything I have done. And it isn’t even based on the death of Jesus. But it’s based on who God is. God is love. Believing is simply agreeing with this reality.
Grace radically affected my life. If affected my understanding of sin, prosperity, healing, and even church. My actions started to become motivated by love instead of fear, guilt, or obligation. The fruits of the spirit were being produced in my life even more instead of me trying to produce them myself through willpower.
The GRACE REVELATION changed everything. And I believe it will change you, too.